OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
