We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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