Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
sex in a hospital.. check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize