I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
