Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
