if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize