I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
