thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
How external is "for external use only"?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
