Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
