i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A+ Viking dick
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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