ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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