At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
