there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She told me I should be a condom model.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
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