Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
