I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
