is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
