Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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