Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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