Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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