The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
