I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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