I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
