And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize