Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
