I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
