He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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