Don't you send me to vm
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
