i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
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I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
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and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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