i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
