I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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