Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize