Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
