Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize
