zippers are such a cool invention
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
