Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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