I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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