You were right. It hurts to walk today.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
i now understand why vodka
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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