she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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