why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize