and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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