dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize