it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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