Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
