the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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