I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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