There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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