I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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