You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
did i just pee glitter
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
