is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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