Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
