all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
