my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
