She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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