so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
