Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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