There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
