would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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