fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
