Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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