DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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