those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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